Thursday 30 May 2013

The party’s over

Standing alone in Caesars Palace casino, amid a riot of a million flashing lights, the bing-bing-binging of slot machines, and a sizeable army of strangely orange women, I took a moment to contemplate my newly acquired riches.
I had beaten the house. A Sin City miracle! Right up there with the best of fabled Vegas folklore — like the stripper with a heart of gold, the bachelor party that ends well, and the thief who looks like George Clooney.
“Keep it together, Wong,” I said to myself in my indoor internal monologue voice, “these dirty sharks can smell money”. I casually stared down at the cash-out voucher in my hands, face expressly expressionless so as not to draw attention to myself and my winnings. Ten large — and it was all mine.
Wait, 10 large? Is that the same as 10 G? I was never very good with American money speak. The cool slang starts with a D. Dead Presidents … De Niros … Oh, wait: Dime. I won a dime. B*****s. And that’s even more in Singapore dollars. Like, 1.26 times more.
And I plan to put it all in a long-term fixed deposit. Because that’s how I roll.
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
My ticket out of poverty was all thanks to The Hangover. Not the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time in the United States that raked in US$467 million (S$591 million) worldwide, but the slot machine based on that movie where you match up tigers and babies and Heather Grahams.
The slot machine is just one example of how The Hangover is now firmly a Las Vegas icon. People of varying levels of sanity dress up (not very well) as the film’s characters on the Strip to take pictures with even loonier tourists for money; Zach Galifianakis’ bearded man-child Alan is plastered all over T-shirts, caps, boxer shorts, keychains and other assorted souvenirs at the airport gift shop; and the main cast of Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms can’t walk past any casino, strip club or police lock-up without someone very drunk yelling, “Sign my face, man!!!”
Old Vegas may be about the Rat Pack. New Vegas, however, is clearly ruled by the Wolfpack — who were debating among themselves, as they often do in the movies, about a very serious topic: Do the crazy people on the Strip dressed up like their characters bear any physical resemblance to themselves?
With Phil, Stu and Alan — played by Cooper, Helms and Galifianakis — back on screens for The Hangover Part III, it seems the wolves in Wolfpack clothing were out in full force.
“We saw ‘Stu’ last night,” said Cooper.
“He looks nothing like me,” said Helms, shaking his head.
Cooper nodded in agreement. “‘Alan’ looks exactly like Zach.”
Galifianakis whipped his head around and stared at Cooper as if he were a fat kid enjoying a celery stick. “He looks nothing like me!” he protested. “It’s just a guy with a beard! I’ve met him!”
“That’s like saying Bradley looks like you,” said Helms, pointing at both men’s facial shrubbery.
“I got the next shift,” laughed Cooper.
“Bradley, how come there isn’t someone dressed up like you?” asked a journo.
“Yeah, what’s up with that?” egged Helms.
Nothing from Cooper.
“There’s not a lot of good-looking people in Vegas,” Galifianakis smirked.
GOOD TIMES
The Hangover III is billed as the “epic finale” to the lucrative franchise (the second film outgrossed the original by almost US$100 million). And now that it’s all over — all of it, the missing tooth, the face tattoo, the unfortunate sexual encounters, the Mike Tyson — what’s the hangover from The Hangover like?
“It’s too fresh,” said Helms. “It’s starting to sink in … that this is all over and that we’re never going to do this again, and that’s real sad. That’s a bummer. It conjures a lot of warmth and nostalgia and, above all, we feel so grateful to have been on this ride.”
“I think for all of us, we’ve benefited tremendously from it,” said Cooper. “On so many fronts. On an economic front, it’s provided security in a way that you can only dream of; artistically, it provided the ability to help projects get off the ground because you were part of something that was financially lucrative.”
He’s telling the truth — “financially lucrative” is pretty much all that matters in Hollywood. At least according to Heather Graham, who reprises her stripper character Jade from the first film. “Once you really learn about films, it’s kinda disturbing how they get made,” she laughed. “They just take the money made from the movies you’ve been in and put them in a computer — and that’s how they decide if they can hire you! It’s not as creative as you would think. You’d think, ‘Oh, they just hire the best person.’ No. It’s pretty dark.”
None of the actors were big stars when the first film turned out to be the runaway hit of 2009. Today, Cooper is an Oscar-nominated actor and is producing his next film American Sniper with Steven Spielberg, no less; Helms has graduated from TV actor in The Office to the star of the upcoming remake of Chevy Chase’s Vacation; and Galifianakis has gone from underground comic to one of the biggest comedic names in Hollywood. All three were reportedly paid over US$15 million each for The Hangover Part III.
Success, however, has its downside. The eradication of anonymity and privacy, for one. Who Cooper may or may not be dating draws more attention than who he’s working with.
“The one thing as a comic that I did struggle with, with these movies and getting known, is when you start as a comic, it’s really important for you to be able to observe the world, and to be able to sit in the back of a room and write things down,” said the famously reticent Galifianakis. “People now wanted to talk, and sometimes I was a bit rude. Because I felt threatened by it. But I think I’m a lot better now, and more willing to accept the fate of it.”
“But if I see teenagers walking down the street, I will definitely cross the street,” he laughed. “No doubt about it whatsoever!”
THIS IS THE END
This being Hollywood, of course, “the end” isn’t necessarily a hard full stop. After all, Jason does dies at the end of every Friday The 13th movie. Is this really, honestly, categorically the end of a six-year-long Hangover?
“One hundred per cent,” said Helms. “First of all, we all want it to end, because it just feels creatively in the right place. But I think also if we were to come back after all the marketing materials that say ‘This Is The End’, we would just be the biggest jackasses ever.”
“It was okay for Jay-Z!” offered Cooper.
“People forget,” quipped Galifianakis. “The Hangover 4 posters can say ‘We Were Just Kidding!’”
Assuming the Wolfpack truly is giving up the mayhem and calling it a day, everyone involved can be safe in the knowledge that they have earned their place in the annals of popular culture, souvenir gift shops and very bad plans. (“All these guys come to Vegas hoping to have a crazy time like the movie,” a friendly croupier said to me while emptying my pockets of any sign of currency. “A tiger in the room? That’s nothing. I’ve seen much worse.”)
“To make a seminal Las Vegas movie is a pretty cool thing,” admitted writer/director Todd Phillips. “But also to have made this huge R-rated comedy franchise is to me — having grown up on R-rated comedies, whether they be Stripes, Blues Brothers, Fast Times — is to me a big deal.”
And as for The Hangover’s cinematic legacy? “The truth is you really won’t know for decades the impact of the movie. If it will live on like Caddy Shack or Meatballs or Some Like It Hot,” said Cooper. “It could just fade away. It really could. Who knows? It could have been big for these 10 years and then 20 years from now, no one really talks about it. So we’ll see.”
Yes, we shall. In the meantime, the Wolfpack will always have Vegas. And me? In 20 years, my dime will be worth a whopping S$0.23. Drinks are on me, baby.
The Hangover Part III opens in cinemas tomorrow.

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